I’ll never forget the day I told my high school senior, as he headed out for a big day at school, that I’d be praying for him. He stopped in his tracks and looked at me, genuinely perplexed. Then asked, “Why would you need to pray about that?”
Knock me over with a feather.
What a shock! How did my own son not understand the power of prayer? Where had I dropped the ball as a mom that my child didn’t see the need for prayer?
Years later, I now have a little more perspective, and it shows me the interaction with my son was less about my performance as a mother and more about where he was spiritually. But his question is pivotal. Why pray? Until we wrestle with such a foundational question, we’ll continue on the prayer path we’re already on. We’ll remain trapped in legalism or indifferent to God’s plans and presence. We’ll stay in the same prayer patterns we’ve always been in – not growing or maturing.
Why pray? We’ve already asserted that the most important reason is because Jesus prayed. And when we pray as He did, we’re shaped by such a life of prayer – even by the very words Jesus spoke on our behalf.
Why pray? Because we desire to be renewed by God’s love.
We know these things now. But I bet if we polled each other right this minute, the majority of us pray for things. We ask. We speak supplications. And we aren’t wrong to do so. We need God’s wisdom and strength, His forgiveness and provision. In fact, Jesus taught in multiple ways to be persistent in our prayers, being sure to ask, seek, and knock on heaven’s door (Luke 11:5-13).
However, while there is absolutely nothing wrong with lifting up our prayer requests, I have begun discovering that prayer isn’t just about asking.
So, What Is Prayer If Not Asking?
There’s a passage in Mark I’ve been unpacking in The Message Version that inspired this blog post.
“Jesus was matter-of-fact: ‘Embrace this God-life. Really embrace it, and nothing will be too much for you. This mountain, for instance: Just say, “Go jump in the lake”—no shuffling or hemming and hawing—and it’s as good as done. That’s why I urge you to pray for absolutely everything, ranging from small to large. Include everything as you embrace this God-life, and you’ll get God’s everything. And when you assume the posture of prayer, remember that it’s not all asking.’”
Mark 11:22-24 MSG
- Embrace this God-life.
- Pray for absolutely everything.
- Assume the posture of prayer.
- Prayer is not all asking.
To bullet-point these main ideas of Jesus’ teaching is to see the clues He gives for embracing this God-life we’re trying to live. And it all boils down to prayer. But, prayer may be more than we realize.
Ultimately, prayer is relationship. And if we skip right over this truth, we’ll stay stuck in patterns of prayer that only ever ask.
Consider a relationship you have right now. What if every.single.time you had a conversation with this person, they only ever asked you for things. Hey, can I have some money? Would you wash my clothes? Would you take me to my friend’s house? Would you cook some dinner? Would you fix my broken necklace? Would you loan me your new shoes….
There’s no real conversation or getting to know one another. No reciprocating reflection or listening ear or offers to help you. So the connection feels broken, slipping into a one-sided conversation – not really a relationship at all.
In a very real way, this is us with God if we only ever ask Him for things. Don’t hear me saying you should stop taking your requests to God. That is not what I’m saying. He loves to hear from us for any reason. But as we consider the idea of prayer and question why we should pray, it’s important for us to identify a simple truth – God wants a relationship with us. And that means talking with Him, sharing our thoughts as well as our questions. Getting honest about our feelings. Wrestling with doubt or fear. Bawling our eyes out with grief. Confessing our sins. Celebrating every victory…with Him!
In this way, prayer can be the simple practice of getting in God’s presence with no agenda, no list. Sometimes it’s simply being with Him in companionable silence and includes being quiet enough to listen for His voice – maybe as you’re gardening or walking, cooking or sitting in your prayer chair, reading His Word or perched on your porch.
God loves us, and He wants us to think of Him as Friend and Father – Someone to turn to in distress and to enjoy in the quiet of an evening together.
Praise
I do believe my own significant shift in understanding prayer began when my oldest was in fourth grade; the mother of a classmate asked if I would want to join her to pray for our sons each week. I eagerly agreed, thus beginning a sixteen year rhythm of meeting with other moms to pray for our kids. My friend did a great job of keeping us focused (rather than chatting the whole hour) by following a format. And our praying always began with praise – ascribing to God all that He is.
Admittedly, in those early years, our praises were simple – You are God; You are our Father; You are Creator... But the more we practiced this rhythm of praising God, the more easily the descriptions of God flowed – You are the Alpha and Omega, the Beginning and the End; You are all-knowing and always present... It turns out we were each studying the Bible at our own churches, so we were simultaneously learning more about God and how to praise Him!
Praise glorifies God and rightly keeps Him on His throne – both in heaven and our lives. Praise moves us from being self-focused to God-focused, aligning our hearts and minds with our Father.
Praise does a deep work within us no matter where we are or how the day is going because as we start speaking words of adoration to our Father, our focus shifts to the One who has all the power, all the love, all the truth, all the grace.
This is why the writer of Hebrews tells us to “continually offer up to God a sacrifice of praise, that is, the fruit of lips that confess his name” (13:15 CSB). Not sometimes or when we feel like it – but continually. And not because God is some egomaniac who loves hearing about Himself but because He knows the work such praise will do in our hearts and lives. Praise as prayer anchors us in our Father’s presence and builds our faith – He is who He says He is!!!
Gratitude
A close cousin to praise is gratitude. If praise is a prayer about who God is, then gratitude is a prayer thanking God for what He’s done. Back in the early 2000s, our little circle of praying mamas had to put a little effort into differentiating the two. For us, it was easy to slip into ‘thank yous’ when we were meant to be lifting up praises. Without falling into legalism, we allowed our deep desire to rightly praise and thank God to guide us in both prayers.
I’ve also observed how easy it is to mindlessly list thank-yous and call them prayers – not too unlike a child who recites as many things he can during bedtime prayers in order to delay going to sleep: God, thank you for the sun; thank you for the birds; thank you for grandma and grandpa… And while that’s adorable and not wrong, the idea behind grateful-prayers is to open our eyes to the work of God around us – to be moved by His goodness, kindness, and presence.
When our thoughts swirl with all that needs to be done, with all our worries and what ifs, pausing to thank God stops the spirals. On those nights that I cannot force my thoughts to cease bombarding my brain, I relive my day in my imagination, asking the Holy Spirit to reveal God at work. In my mind’s eyes, when I see how God showed up – in a text from a friend or a squirrel that made me laugh or a neighbor who invited me over – I give space for gratitude to well up inside me. And I tell God thank you. It’s crazy the joy and peace that come from such a practice.
“Fullness of joy is discovered only in the emptying of will. And I can empty. I can empty because counting His graces has awakened me to how He cherishes me, holds me, passionately values me. I can empty because I am full of His love. I can trust.”
Ann Voskamp1, emphasis mine
My friends, immense power releases within us as we pour out sincere gratitude to God. Much like praise, prayers of thankfulness shift our focus onto God and what He is already doing – all the ways He’s already showing up. And as we note His presence and work, our faith increases for what He will do. It’s the idea of remembering all of God’s past moments of faithfulness in order to trust Him for future ones. When we are moved into humble gratitude, minds change. Hearts soften. Faith expands. Joy abounds. And God becomes the central relationship in our lives.
Prayers of praise and thankfulness give space for God to do a work in us – a work of alignment with His heart and mind, a work that fills us with assurance in Him, a work that lifts the haze and lets in faith, hope, love, and joy.
Why pray? It’s a question we wrestle with so that we won’t get stuck in ruts or neglect the practice completely. So that our lives of prayer will strengthen. So that we’ll receive the blessings that come with prayers of praise and thanksgiving – such as a deepened connection with God.
May we always remember that praising God keeps Him where He belongs as Lord of our lives. And that thanking God keeps us where we need to be – anchored in the One who delights in doing good works for us, His beloved.
Here’s to embracing this God-life!
Lord, teach us to pray.
Father God, we praise You. Hallelujah!2 We praise You when we’re in your sanctuary – all praise to You who are in heaven. We praise You for your acts of power and for your surpassing greatness. We praise You with our voices and instruments, with our dancing and our bowing. With every breath we praise your holy name – for You are the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. You never grow tired or weary; You strengthen the weary; You increase the power of the weak. Father, You are the One who was, and who is, and who is to come, the Almighty. You are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in loving kindness. You are the Rock, and your works are perfect; all your ways are just. You are a faithful God who does no wrong – always upright and just. We give You thanks with all our hearts for your constant love and truth. We’re so grateful that You maintain love to thousands, forgiving wickedness, rebellion, and sin. Thank You for being the One who gives us endurance and encouragement so that we will have the same attitude of mind toward each other that Christ Jesus has for us – so that with one mind and one voice we can glorify You. We give You thanks with our whole hearts; we sing your praise before the heavenly beings, bowing down toward your holy temple, giving thanks to your name. You are good, and your faithful love endures forever. Father, whom do we have in heaven but You? We desire You more than anything on earth. Our health may fail and our spirits may grow weak, but You remain the strength of our hearts; You are ours forever. In Jesus’ name we pray, amen.
(Inspired by Psalm 150; Isaiah 40:28-29; Revelation 1:8; Exodus 34:6-7; Deuteronomy 32:3-4; Psalm 138:1-2,8; Romans 15:5-6; Psalm 73:23-26)
Resources: I love sharing with you the books, podcasts, articles, and anything else that has inspired, encouraged, or taught me. These are humble offerings with no expectations.
- 1 – These are quotes from Ann Voskamp’s famous book about gratitude, One Thousand Gifts.^ I think I need to read it again! 😉 Here’s another great quote from Ann: “I only deepen the wound of the world when I neglect to give thanks for early light dappled through leaves and the heavy perfume of wild roses in early July and the song of crickets on humid nights and the rivers that run and the stars that rise and the rain that falls and all the good things that a good God gives.”
- 2 – Hallelujah derived from the Hebrew word for praise, halal.
- Even though we only have ONE MORE WEEK of this series, I have added two songs to our playlist, Embrace Prayer. The first is a hymn, “Take Time To Be Holy,” and it’s about speaking with God — abiding in Him and feeding on His Word. Spending time in secret with Jesus alone. So good! The second is one of my all time favorites, “Ancient Gates” by Brooke Ligertwood. I truly cannot think of a better finale for this particular playlist — especially as this series has expanded well beyond what I imagined when I began digging into the Jesus Prayers. So, may we go out singing with Brooke, “Praise Him like we’re there in glory! Here and now He’s just as holy. Jesus, He’s so worthy of it all!” Amen!
- Each Wednesday I upload a “Teacup” teaching video that carries on the topic here. You can find all the videos on my Facebook Author Page, Instagram, and YouTube.
- Many of you have already found me on Substack! Thank you so much! While you’re on Substack, check out the ministry I’m blessed to be part of, the Devoted Collective. AND…don’t forget if you’d rather listen to these weekly posts, you can now do so on Substack — it’s easy to see and use the audio bar across the top of each post.
- My monthly newsletter, The Abiding Life, goes to email inboxes of those who have subscribed on my website, and I post them on Substack — usually within the first week of the month. My most recent edition can be found there, and you can subscribe for future newsletters on Substack, here.
Rhythms: As my newsletter’s title infers, we seek to develop an abiding life in this space — a place where we can get informed but also be transformed as we learn to abide in God’s presence throughout our days. I like to think that developing rhythms is one way to aid us in our desire to become more Christlike. This Lent, we’ve put our focus on the rhythm of prayer.
- We continue building a prayer library in our Prayer Bibles this week by highlighting and tabbing Psalm 150 — a beautiful prayer of praise! It’s actually written as an exhortation — with the air of commands. But it’s easy to turn the words into a prayer by inserting personal pronouns: “I praise You, God, in your sanctuary.” (I tried to model this for you in today’s prayer — at the end of the post).
- We’re all called to share the truths about the work of Jesus. One way you can do that is by sharing this site and telling others your own stories of faith experiences. Maybe, just maybe, God will even give us opportunities to pray for people He puts in our paths. I’d love to hear about it when He does!
Featured Photo by Sixteen Miles Out on Unsplash. “All the Bits and Pieces” photo by Aleksandra Sapozhnikova on Unsplash.
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