She had it all. A rock-solid relationship with God. A doting husband. A fruitful garden that spilled over with everything she’d ever need. Yet, her eyes would wander to the only off-limits tree. Her mind would wonder what made it so special that God would tell her ‘no’. And, if she were honest, a seed of doubt had begun to sprout – what’s God holding back from me?
When that slithering snake showed up and fed her doubt, she let her mind fixate on the one thing she didn’t have. But it was when he hissed that she could be like God that something in her snapped – something akin to indignance. Who is God to tell me what I need to know? He has no idea what I need. I know what is best for me.
She stubbornly snatched the fruit from the forbidden branches and took the biggest, most defiant bite ever.
And then, she knew.
Doubt
Human nature is both fascinating and frustrating. On one hand, we innately know how to protect those we love or when to run from danger. On the other hand, we have some deeply rooted responses to life that do not serve us well – like believing we know what is best for us more than God does. We doubt God’s full understanding of the situation and His willingness to help.
Dig
One thing the pandemic lockdown taught me was how to establish a routine for myself. Daily rhythms and project lists kept me productive – and sane. So when we were suddenly moved to another state that summer of 2020, I pulled out my calendar and started planning out my days. I found a rhythm that not only occupied me but challenged me to grow – both in my faith and in my writing.
Yet, as I would meet with God day-after-day, my heart struggled to feel settled or content. My productivity muscle wanted some exercise. And I kept waiting for God to open a ministry door for me to step through.
On my most restless days, I’d pepper God with questions – How long, O Lord, till I have something TO DO? How long, O Lord, till we have neighbors? How long, O Lord, till I have actual people to work with, be with?
I journaled like a woman obsessed – repeatedly asking Him, Is this where You want me? I prayed out loud for all the people we’d left and for my future. I sang praise songs with great fervor, wanting to believe God for whatever He had for me.
With each inquiry, God would nod. In His quiet way, He’d affirm that the kitchen table with Bible open was exactly where He wanted me.
But. I’d wiggle. I’d wonder – Am I hearing You correctly, Lord? THIS is what You have for me to do? Then I’d list off all the opportunities I knew of in the big city of Dallas. I’d send off my resume. I’d fill out applications. Because I thought I knew what was best.
Dig Deeper
At the heart of such prideful assumptions lurks the desire to be like God – because we doubt who God is. And that’s why we always return to Scripture, allowing its truths to calm our minds and assure our hearts.
“Great is our Lord and mighty in power;
Psalm 147:5
his understanding has no limit.”
“Oh, how great are God’s riches and wisdom and knowledge! How impossible it is for us to understand his decisions and his ways!”
Romans 11:33 NLT
“This is how we know that we belong to the truth and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence: If our hearts condemn us, we know that God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything.”
1 John 3:19-20
Discovery
Eve tapped into the same longing that had pushed Lucifer to rebel against God and get thrown out of heaven – that desire to be like God (Genesis 3:5; Isaiah 14:12-14). And human nature hasn’t changed much since then.
Somehow we, the created, struggle to find contentment in our role. We’d rather be the Creator. The one in charge. The one making all the decisions. After all, aren’t we the ones living on this planet? Haven’t we been given minds to think and strategize and plan?*
If we were to stop ourselves when we’re in the midst of such a spiral of self-promoting ponderings, we’d realize how much like Eve we are. Because behind each rationalizing question is a hidden belief that God doesn’t know everything. That His wisdom is limited because He isn’t here. Or that He can’t fully understand each and every situation.
“God is all-knowing, but in our vanity and self-worship, mankind often makes the mistake of usurping this attribute of God. Every time we go our own way instead of heeding God’s voice, we’re essentially questioning His omniscience and falsely claiming that we possess that attribute.”1
In these last few years, the Holy Spirit has been so good to poke me each time I try to usurp God’s role of being all-knowing. He points out that I do not, in fact, know all. And that when I run ahead with my uber-planning response to out-of-control seasons of life, I’m leaving no room for God to work in and through me.
Pridefully, I take over. Because something in me believes I know.
But, pride isn’t the only hidden agenda behind such ‘I can do it’ actions. Sometimes it’s the fear that God won’t help. Or that He isn’t actually who He says He is – all-knowing and wise. Present. Good. And out for our good. Fear can cause us to grasp for control, to act like we’re the ones with infinite wisdom and understanding.
All my grasping in 2020 led absolutely nowhere. In fact, it only served to feed my restlessness and disappointment. I’d arrived in Texas with the sincere belief that God had something new for me, and I let that ‘knowing’ morph into assumption. I let my imaginings of what the ‘new’ would look like become the picture of what God wanted rather than giving Him space to show me.
And yet, the very rhythms that I threw myself into everyday served me well – despite my desires for ‘more’.
The simplicity of reading Scripture and journaling my thoughts helped me see my motives and assumptions. The dailiness of sitting with God aligned my heart with His so that over the course of weeks and months, His desires for me became my own. The routine of writing and writing some more not only developed a skill but turned into the ‘new’ I’d been longing for and He had appointed.
A year later I finally felt myself let go of what I thought I should be doing. I released my need to be in control. I surrendered my future, my purpose to the Creator – the One who is actually all-knowing.
Friends, when we find ourselves stuck in a cycle of thinking that we know best, of believing that we know more than God, we go back to truth – His understanding has no limit (Psalm 147:5). He knows everything (1 John 3:20) – about Himself, His creation, and all of history.2
And we keep returning to God’s presence. When we abide in Him, we’re given everything we need to live, thrive, and bear fruit (John 15). In His presence, we can be calmed by His wisdom. Our faith can be bolstered as we recalibrate our minds to remember that God alone is all-knowing. Our hearts can find true rest (1 John 3:19).
It might be our instinct to run or hide, to jump into action or take the reins, but that doesn’t automatically mean these are what we should do. But every time, our responses are to look to God and trust His infinite wisdom, which is fueled by unlimited power and never-ending goodness. God knows everything. And He is abundantly generous in sharing His wisdom and knowledge with us.
Friends, we don’t have to let our eyes wander and our minds doubt. We can refuse to listen to the deceitful lies of the enemy. Instead, we can find rest and freedom by allowing our omniscient Father to lead us through each and every day we’re here on earth. We can let wisdom lead us “to a life of peace and joy” (Proverbs 3:17).
Heavenly Father, how remarkable it is to recognize that we, like Eve, have the propensity for the desire to be like You. We’re starting to see how sneaky the compulsion to take charge and run ahead of You actually is – and that it’s a hidden doubt about your omniscience. So, we confess today that we too easily grasp for the reins of control before ever looking to You. We confess that there are times we do actually believe that we know best. Thank You for your forgiveness. Thank You for being so generous as to share the riches of your wisdom with us. We do believe, Father, that You know everything! Lord Jesus, we see now that one of the reasons You left heaven to come to earth is to walk in our shoes. You get the feelings we have and the challenges we face because You’ve lived it! And now You stand before the Father interceding on our behalf – because You KNOW. You see all. You know all. And You constantly meet us where we are, offering your own wisdom and knowledge to us. Holy Spirit, we depend on You to be God’s voice in our hearts, to lead us in the ways of the Father. We ask that You would continue to prod us along in this life, letting us know each time we step back into old habits of control and usurping the role of All-Knowing. Pour into us a desire to seek God first in every situation so that we might give Him space to speak, move, and lead. And may we surrender all we are and follow after Him. In Jesus’ name, amen.
(inspired by Genesis 3:5; Matthew 6:33; Ephesians 1:7; Romans 11:33; 1 John 3:20; Hebrews 4:15; Romans 8:34; John 16:30; 1 Corinthians 1:30; John 16:8,13; James 4:7)
*I do want to qualify this comment – God absolutely intends that we use the brains and gifts He’s given us! He just doesn’t want us to rely exclusively on ourselves – because we don’t always know everything. And He does. 🙂
Resources: I love sharing with you the books, podcasts, articles, and anything else that has inspired, encouraged, or taught me. These are humble offerings with no expectations.
- 1 – This Desiring Jesus article does a nice job of unpacking all three ‘omni-’ qualities of God. I especially like the ‘omniscient’ section.
- 2 – This Gospel Coalition article also unpacks all three ‘omni’s’. It’s fun to see how they work together!
- Our Backpack of God’s Attributes is our virtual bag for collecting every characteristic of God we find in all our hunting. We’re loading up all we discover about Him. So far:
- God is Worthy — He deserves all glory and honor and praise.**
- God is Glorious — He displays His greatness and worth.**
- God is Transcendent — He is not like humans. He is infinitely higher in being and action.**
- God is Truthful — Whatever God speaks or does is truth and reality.**
- God is Incomprehensible — God is beyond our understanding. We can comprehend Him in part but not in whole.**
- God is Love — God feels and displays infinite, unconditional affection toward His children. His love for them does not depend on their worth, response, or merit.**
- God is Gracious — The LORD is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love (Psalm 145:8).
- God is Good — God is what is best and gives us what is best. He is incapable of doing harm.**
- God is Comforter — the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God (2 Corinthians 1:3-4).
- God is Deliverer — God rescues and saves His children.**
- God is Redeemer — Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine (Isaiah 43:1-2).
- God is Omnipotent — God holds all the power. Nothing is too hard for God.**
- God is Almighty — What God wills, He can accomplish.** “For in him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things have been created through him and for him” (Colossians 1:16).
- God is Infinite — God has no limits in His person or His power.**
- God is Sovereign — “O Sovereign Lord! You made the heavens and earth by your strong hand and powerful arm. Nothing is too hard for you” (Jeremiah 32:17).
- God is Just — God is fair in all His actions and judgments. He cannot over-punish or under-punish.**
- God is Righteous — God is always good and right.**
- God is Wrathful — God hates all unrighteousness.**
- God is Merciful — God does not give His children the punishment they deserve.**
- God is Patient/Long-Suffering — God is untiring and bears with His children.**
- God is Provider — God meets the needs of His children.**
- God is Omnipresent — God is fully present everywhere.**
- God is Compassionate — God cares for His children and Acts on their behalf.**
- God is Wise — God knows what is best and acts accordingly. He cannot choose wrongly.**
- God is Omniscient — God knows everything: past, present, and future; all potential and real outcomes; all things micro and macro.**
- God is Generous — God gives what is best and beyond what is deserved.**
- **many thanks to Jen Wilkin and her list, “Attributes of God,” present at the back of every study
- If you ever have a day plagued with doubts about God’s wisdom or even just His willingness to share that wisdom everything, pop in Lauren Daigle’s song, “Everything,” and let the words pour into your heart and mind. Let the truth that God gives you everything buoy your faith, trusting that our generous, all-knowing God will even give you wisdom. Of course, this song is on our “Hidden Treasures” playlist.
- If everything goes according to plan, my newsletter, The Abiding Life, should be hitting inboxes late this week! I have a bit of an announcement to share — and you’ll hear it first in the newsletter! You can subscribe here.
Rhythms: As my newsletter’s title infers, we seek to develop an abiding life in this space — a place where we can get informed but also be transformed as we learn to abide in God’s presence throughout our days. I like to think that developing rhythms is one way to aid us in our desire to become more Christlike.
- Praise, our summer rhythm, is the speaking of truths about WHO GOD IS. It lifts our eyes off our circumstances and back onto the One who can walk us through them. And the Psalms are packed with poems that will lead us through this ritual of reflection and remembrance — until it becomes a rhythm that we fall into naturally.
- When I think of those months of meeting with God at my kitchen table, I tend to be hard on myself, thinking I should have surrendered sooner, doubted less. But I think the bigger lesson is not to beat myself up but to PRAISE GOD for meeting with me every single day! He never once gave up on me or failed to reveal some much needed encouragement or truth. Many would call this meeting with God in the hidden spaces — and I love that! What if in the coming days and weeks we practiced praising God for who He is AND for His generous, continuous, consistent presence.
- This week, let’s read Psalm 139. This will probably be a very familiar Psalm, so I’d suggest reading it in a translation that would be different from your normal. And as you read it, listen for God’s omniscience and omnipresence. Then read it a second time, making its words your praise to God!
- And while it’s not a spiritual practice or rhythm, I invite you to share this site. Summer is a great time to ask someone else to join us here — it is a shared journey of faith, for sure!
Featured Photo by Slava Stupachenko on Unsplash. “All the Bits and Pieces” photo by Zrng N Gharib on Unsplash.
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