Hidden Messages

This is my story.

I share it not because I’m special but because what God has done and is doing is special.
I share it not because it’s so incredibly unique but because it’s been a unique work in my life.
I share it not so you’ll mimic or mock but because this story demonstrates one way God works.

I share it because it’s become the basis for my word and Word for 2024, this post, and – I anticipate – much of what I write and share in the coming year.

Hi! I’m Shelley. I’m what’s known as a helper.¹ I love to be useful and to make a difference. I genuinely love to help. But. A battle rages in me. Part of me likes working behind-the-scenes, doing the tasks that are necessary but unnoticed – while the other part of me is drawn into leadership and the limelight. 

It’s a strange tension to live in, but what really complicates it is pride. In both scenarios, if I’m not careful, I can immerse myself into helpfulness so that I can feel needed, appreciated, wanted. It’s what the really smart psychologists and spiritual directors call ‘the shadow side’ of my personality type. In all honesty, I don’t like that shadow side – because I looooong to serve unselfishly.

So, for my entire adult life I’ve had to develop strategies to keep the embers of pride doused and the humility flames stoked. In the years I served on staff at my local church, I especially felt pride’s pull, probably because I had more opportunities to be in the spotlight. As a result, I actively sought out other leaders and their books in order to learn rhythms of accountability and humility, prayer and time in the Word – all with the desire to serve wholeheartedly for the Lord and not for my own “selfish ambition” (Philippians 2:3). I have to say it’s not easy or simple to live with such humble yet willing intentions, especially in a celebrity-driven culture. 

My story took a sharp turn south, quite literally, when my husband and I moved for his job. Nearly overnight in June 2020, life changed. No more ministry responsibilities. No more coffee urns to rinse out or team meetings to lead. No more guests to greet or Sunday sermons to preach. Day after day, my role shifted into the singular, meaning that I sat by myself studying the Word, learning how to write, and hammering out freelance articles. 

In my new solitary state, those deeply rooted, restless desires to be useful screamed at me. I saw no fruit. I had no feedback. And I started dreaming of what it would look like for my writing to gain attention, traction, worldly success. I was longing for the limelight, and I was ashamed about that. My confidence tanked because life didn’t look the way I expected it to. And all the time I spent ‘working on me’ started feeling a bit too self-focused.

That is until I opened a study on Elijah.² The greatly revered prophet’s story covers a whopping three chapters in 1 Kings:17-19. As if reading with new eyes, Elijah’s story unfolded and my spirit resonated. The one who impacted so much Jewish history, who defeated all the prophets of Baal, who prayed a three-year drought into being – until he prayed for it to rain – had solitary bookends to his story.

The ending of Elijah’s story was familiar to me, yet I found myself riveted by the way Elijah, after winning the great battle of the altar fires, ran from a furious Queen afraid for his life (1 Kings 18:16-39; 19:2-3). I leaned closer as I watched him dramatically collapse in the desert ready to die (1 Kings 19:4-5). And when he sought the shelter of a cave, I witnessed God speak to him in a whisper (vv.1-12). Though my story was smaller, my heart felt his brokenness, his confusion, his fear. And I loved the way God pursued him (vv.15-18).

But, it was the way his story began that really grabbed me:

“Then the word of the Lord came to Elijah: ‘Leave here, turn eastward and hide in the Kerith Ravine, east of the Jordan. You will drink from the brook, and I have directed the ravens to supply you with food there.’”

1 Kings 17:2-4

No one hunted Ellijah. He was in no imminent danger, yet God called him to hide – physically, but also mentally, spiritually, and emotionally. Because God had plans and purposes for Elijah, He called him away, alone. He knew Elijah needed a season of preparation; he needed time alone with the Lord to be reordered, reoriented, and readied. So, God hid him.²   

Y’all, this study, these words, they gripped my soul with such power that I wept. I felt like Priscilla’s unpacking of Elijah’s story was, in fact, her telling my story. Her words and Elijah’s journey were giving me perspective for the season I was floundering in. A light began to burn in me, illuminating God’s hand in my solitary state, and I welcomed it. In fact, I was shocked to realize I hungered for it.

Just as Elijah was called to the “sequestered vale of Cherith” in order to be hidden from the world for a season of reshaping and refocusing,² so are we – at times. These past few years I have sojourned the “lonely wasteland.”² Even though I’d been physically separated from the people, places, and purposes I’d had for decades, I realized there was more to this isolated season than actual distance when Priscilla asked, 

“What will it require for you to fully hide yourself and completely engage in this new location if you’re to receive every bit of development He’s planned for you in this space and season?”² 

Wrecked, I sought the Spirit’s leading to uncover all the attachments I needed to release. When I wrote them out as a prayer, emotions flowed and a burden lifted. I found the freedom to move forward, to receive whatever God had for me.

Thus surrendered, I allowed God to lead me into the “darkroom of development.”² He gifted me with time and ability to live the hidden life so that He could do some working-out and pouring-in.

More ‘Hidden’ Messages

In the middle of my Cherith season, I made my annual trek to the New Room Conference³ – more excited, more expectant than ever before. I held an anticipation of God doing something big during those two-and-a-half days. 

The last night, my giddiness overflowed as if I knew a secret. And it was a great experience – so much of God’s Word and Spirit flowing. But, as the night was nearing its end, nothing big was happening. I had to work hard not to be distracted by the temptation of disappointment. So, I focused more. I prayed a lot. 

Then it came. A whisper so soft I wondered if I’d really heard.

Hidden.

That was it. No lightning bolts. No hallelujah chorus. Just a simple word that, at the time, didn’t ignite much within me. Except confusion.

But as I sat with it later that night, I suspected God was calling me to be hidden, to serve Him ‘hidden.’

I entered the same sanctuary the next morning a little more subdued as I continued to ponder what I’d heard. We didn’t get very far into the first session when God whipped up a BIG. Oh my goodness, there are no adequate words to describe the beautiful, chaotic, powerful transformation that took place in that room. In the middle of the speaker’s talk, hundreds of people – mostly pastors – started flooding to the front altar for prayer. 

Instead of marching onward with her talk, the speaker transitioned into prayer, laying hands on those who knelt and wept. My heart pounded – this was it! This was what my heart had been hoping for! And I was taking the wonder of it all into my heart with awe and gratitude.

When I heard it. 

Another person on the stage took the microphone and spoke over the crowd, “Maybe you need to be HIDDEN so that God can be seen more.”

Full stop. 

Only I didn’t stop. I didn’t hesitate. Everything in me knew this was the Lord, and I fled to the altar, crashing to my knees where I wept and worshiped, received and released – for a long time. I relished the power and peace of the holy presence of the Lord. I had no thoughts except “thank You,” “Jesus,” and “okay.” I needed no other words. I only needed Him.

Since that moment of explosive entangling of His Spirit and mine, God has continued working. He’s been showing me what it looks like to develop healthy rhythms that allow me to abide in Him. He’s been teaching me the ways of the hidden life. And, in quite fun and surprising ways, God has been laying before me a particular avenue of affirmations since His whispered ‘hidden.’

One of those happened at this year’s New Room. The worship band, Bristol House, released a new album during the conference, and as I scrolled the list of new songs, I saw – in solitary fashion – a song simply entitled, “Hidden.” My hands shook as I opened Spotify and heard the opening words:

Lord make me obscure
Keep me unnoticed
Let me be known by Your image in me
Broken by grace
Mended by mercy
Let me be hidden, hidden in You

“Hidden” by Bristol House

I actually squealed with delight! Only God! I think that was the moment I knew ‘hidden’ would be my word for the new year.

Then, a few months later – as in, this past week – I finally pulled up the website where Bristol House not only has lyrics and chord charts available for each song on their album, but devotions.⁴ My curiosity wondered what kind of devotion paired with “Hidden.” And before I could get into the meat of its message, I ran right into my Word of 2024, Colossians 3:3 – but in a different version. The Message pairs verse 3 with verse 4, and my heart nearly stopped:

“Your old life is dead. Your new life, which is your real life—even though invisible to spectators—is with Christ in God. He is your life. When Christ (your real life, remember) shows up again on this earth, you’ll show up, too—the real you, the glorious you. Meanwhile, be content with obscurity, like Christ.”

Colossians 3:3-4 MSG, emphasis mine

Once again, God spoke over me this hidden message, affirming that, YES, now is the time for ‘hidden’ to be more deeply searched and shared. And here we are.

While this has been my story, it has become obvious to me that hiddenness is actually Christ’s story – and by extension all of ours. All believers are called to be hidden with Christ in God, and we’ll spend the next several weeks unpacking God’s story so that we can better understand this ‘hidden’ message and way of living for Him.

“Jesus loves the humility of hidden righteousness and the quiet deeds of secret goodness.”⁵

Father God, how creative You are. You know us so well that You can speak to us in the chaos and the desert places – and be heard. Thank You for sending along messages of hope – in all their forms – when we think we’re unseen or lost. Thank You for giving us your Spirit so that we always have You with us, motivating us and leading us. Thank You for giving us perspective, the ability to see our seasons for what they are even as we go through them. Lord Jesus, we ask for your help and wisdom as we step into this new year. Our hearts are willing to be opened to whatever You have for us as we dig into what it means to be hidden with You in God. Holy Spirit, guide us. Let your holy wind blow in us, around us, and through us in such a way that we become awakened to a life that is beyond sight but within reach. Carry us as we’re broken by grace. Move us as we’re mended by mercy. Let us be hidden in You and for You – however that looks and whatever that means. In Jesus’ name we pray, amen.
(inspired by Genesis 1:1; Jeremiah 1:5; John 10:27; 1 Corinthians 2:12; Colossians 3:3; Acts 2:2; the Bristol House song, “Hidden”) 

Resources: I love sharing with you the books, podcasts, articles, and anything else that has inspired, encouraged, or taught me. These are humble offerings with no expectations.

• 1 – “Helper” is Enneagram language for my personality type — I’m a Two. If you’re curious to learn more about the Enneagram, check out this site. Or this book.^ Or this podcast. The Enneagram opened up a world to understand myself (and others) in a way that continues to have profound spiritual ramifications — in the best of ways.
• 2 – Priscilla Shirer’s Elijah study^ — you’ll get to hear more as this series moves onward. I cannot say enough good about it.
• 3 – If you haven’t heard me talk about Seedbed or the New Room Conference before, welcome! These two ministries have been shaping me significantly for years now. Maybe the best description of New Room I’ve heard is as a gathering of Spirit hungry Wesleyan (but not exclusively!) leaders who seek awakening in themselves, their churches, and the world.
• 4 – Here’s the Bristol House website and, specifically, the “Hidden” devotion. If you want to hear their Altars album that released in September, here it is. You won’t be the same. XOXO
• 5 – This is a quote from JD Walt in his (Seedbed) Wake Up Call, 5/5/23.
• We have a new playlist. Any guesses on its name? How’d you know? Yes! Here’s our Hidden Messages playlist!! Of course, you can guess the opening song, “Hidden” by Bristol House. I cannot wait for you to hear the entire song — I think it’s pretty much a prelude to everywhere our investigation of ‘hidden’ will take us in 2024. The second song is also aptly named “Hidden,” by United Pursuit/Will Reagan, and its lyrics bring our focus into the specific areas of this particular series, called Hidden Messages.
• In last week’s “Teacup Video,” I talked more about the spiritual practice of reflecting, which you can find on my Facebook Author Page and Instagram, all of which tied into last week’s post and January’s The Abiding Life Newsletter. In the newsletter, I offered three sources that guide us through reflecting back on the past year with the purpose of preparing us for the coming year. If you want those sources, please email me.
  • If you’d like to start receiving my monthly newsletters, you can subscribe to it here.

Rhythms: As my newsletter’s title infers, we seek to develop an abiding life in this space — a place where we can get informed but also be transformed as we learn to abide in God’s presence throughout our days. I like to think that developing rhythms is what aids us in our desire to become more Christlike.

• We’ll carry the practice of stillness with us into this season, and we’ll pair it with solitude because, like Elijah, if we are going to be able to hear from God, be shaped by God, and live the hidden life with God, then we have to get alone. And, remember, this is a rhythm. Not a rule. Not even a routine. This is moving through life with a heart seeking the Lord, making space for Him to do His work in us. Here are some examples for how the rhythm of stillness and solitude might look:
  • Taking Sunday afternoons to read His Word or journal or both.
  • Walking every morning by yourself — no music, no podcast, just you and the Lord.
  • Sitting in your favorite chair at some point everyday as you pray and listen and receive.
  • Getting away for a 2-day personal retreat 2 or 3 times through the year.

 There’s no special formula. No guilt if you miss a day. Just you desiring and finding time with God.

• Finally, as a community, let us not neglect sharing God’s amazing grace with others! Share your God-stories with people around you. Share this site. Share God’s Word. Shine His light into the world!

Featured Photo by Nong on Unsplash “All the Bits and Pieces” photo by Sahand Babali on Unsplash.
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